Marilyn Holdsworth

Broken Pieces - Rachel Thompson

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

@AmyLewisAuthor on Loss & Grieving Being Part of Life #Relationships #Marriage #Memoir #Women

Five Things Being a Young Widow Has Taught Me

I was 27 when my first husband died unexpectedly after an eleven-day illness. While our marriage was far from perfect (and I do mean far), I loved him with an open heart. Now 15 years later, I can clearly say his death became the turning point of my life. If I had a before and after picture, the day he died would be the point in time where my path radically diverged. Nothing beats being a wise, young woman and here are the top five things that widowhood taught me about life, death and loss.
  1. Strength & courage are not qualities you either have or don’t. It’s an energy field that you can tap into that stretches and expands to meet the needs of that which you are facing in the moment. You have no idea how strong you are until you are faced with a situation that calls it out of you. The same goes for courage. Have faith that whatever is needed in the moment, you’ve got it.
  1. Help is everywhere; all around you, all you have to do is look for it. Easier said than done, I know, but that doesn’t make it any less true. And I’ve experienced this countless times, when I really need something, if I can stay out of my fears, exactly what is required always comes to me – no more, no less.
  1. Life is much more fun when you’re fearless. One thing became very clear to me after losing my husband:  his essence, his soul (whatever you choose to call it) was still about. I know it in my bones, and it was quite a shock to me. While I’m not ready to let go of my body just let, I am no longer afraid of death. In fact, I don’t even like the word death but “transition” still sounds little too New Agey for me. And once that granddaddy of fears dissolves, man oh man, does life get fun.
  1. Loss is part of life, so give yourself the gift of grieving. We are all individuals and grieving is highly personal business. No two people do it alike. Don’t listen to anyone else about what you should be doing, feeling, thinking, experiencing. Get rid of all your conditioned thoughts about what grieving should look like. Give yourself the freedom to do it your own way. Grieving can actually be a creative process and experience. Give yourself the gift of expression and your uniqueness. And I don’t just mean from losing a loved one, loss comes in many forms.
  1. You are not in control here. I know we spend our entire lives trying to pretend like we are in control, but we are not.  This can be a terrifying idea, or it can bring you peace. I remember the only thought that gave me solace right after he died was I could have done absolutely nothing to save him. It was essentially out of my hands. The more I tested it out, I learned when I give up trying to control everything, my life actually becomes easier not harder.

Diagnosed with Borderline Personality disorder, Amy struggled with depression and an addiction to sharp objects. Even hospitalization didn't help to heal her destructive tendencies. It took a tumultuous relationship with a man named Truth to bring her back from the depths of her own self-made hell.Amy's marriage to dark, intriguing Truth was both passionate and stormy. She was a fair-skinned southern girl from New Orleans. He was a charming black man with tribal tattoos, piercings, and a mysterious past. They made an unlikely pair, but something clicked. During their early marriage, they pulled themselves out of abject poverty into wealth and financial security practically overnight. Then things began to fall apart.
 Passionate and protective, Truth also proved violent and abusive. Amy’s own self-destructive tendencies created a powerful symmetry. His sudden death left Amy with an intense and warring set of emotions: grief for the loss of the man she loved, relief she was no longer a target for his aggression.

Conflicted and grieving, Amy found herself at a spiritual and emotional crossroads, only to receive help from an unlikely source: Truth himself. Feeling his otherworldly presence in her dreams, Amy seeks help from a famous medium.

Her spiritual encounters change Amy forever. Through Truth, she learns her soul is eternal and indestructible, a knowledge that gives Amy the courage to pursue her own dreams and transform herself both physically and emotionally. Her supernatural encounters help Amy resolve the internal anger and self-destructive tendencies standing between her and happiness, culminating in a sense of spiritual fulfillment she never dreamed possible.

An amazing true story, What Freedom Smells Like is told with courage, honesty, and a devilishly dark sense of humor.
Buy Now @ Amazon
Genre – Memoir
Rating – PG-13
More details about the author
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